Extremely Average

Every 500 years or so a great discovery is made, one that will change mankind and the universe as we know it.  Fire was the first.  The wheel made the list.  The Chinese had discovered gunpowder and it changed the course of history, for if gunpowder had not been discovered there wouldn’t have been guns and ultimately no ‘Naked Gun 2 1/2′.  So it is a good thing they were on their game.

Today I made a discovery, that will forever change the universe.  Ok that is an exaggeration,  but it will most certainly alter the course of American history.  No that isn’t right either.  This discovery will, at the very least, make me very happy and have no bearing on society or the universe as a whole.  Many moons ago, in a blog piece long forgotten, I told the tale of work bench leg measuring errors, cause in no small part, by my divided attention.  I tried to mark them while watching The Ohio State Buckeyes play football.  I learned that one can not make accurate and repeatable measurements while screaming, “Sack  him you crazy dog!  Crush the quarterback like the grape that he is!!!”

Today I, and yesterday to some extent, discovered that one can sharpen planes and chisels on a slab of marble, while enjoying their favorite shows on Hulu.  It may eve lead to a sharper blade as one isn’t in such a hurry to finish, and can just keep sanding away the steel until it is ‘scary sharp’ as they say.  After last night’s blog post was posted, I took a break from the spokeshave blade and started to lap the sole of the Stanley 110.  I did this until 3 am.

I was starting to suspect that starting with 180 grit was not the answer, and sure enough, when I got up this morning (early afternoon), I read a comment that confirmed my suspicion.  So today I went and bought some 80 and 150 sheets and gave it another go.  The sharpening time dropped dramatically.  The next thing I did was to grab everything I could possibly think of, and pile it on the desk.  I have now sharpened 4 of my chisels and they are fantastic.  I also got the sole of the 110 looking pretty good too.

A few months back I tried to use an old English hand plane, with little success.  Those were my first shavings and it brought me a little bit of happiness.  When I grabbed the scrap piece of hard maple and ran the 110 over it, the results were markedly better.  The blade still needs some work, but I just had to try it out.  Making shavings is a thrill.  I can say, without question, that I am a complete hand plane addict now.

In fact, I found a guy on line, who is selling off his collection and gave him a call.  We talked for about a half an hour and he knows more about hand planes, than I do about…hmmm I don’t really know much of anything about anything, so using me as a comparison…digression part deux.  The point is that I had a bunch of questions and he knew the answers.  It was great.  Thanks Sean, if you are reading.  I am going to go look at his collection next weekend.  I am very excited.

Today’s discovery wasn’t really about sanding.  The real discovery was more of an understanding that the path I have chosen, really seems to fit my personality and temperament.  I am glad that I am remaining true to my plan.  I am focusing on learning hand tools, building things for woodworking, and discovering as much as I can along the way.  In the grand scheme of things it may not be as impressive as fire or the wheel, but this realization warms my heart and keeps me moving along in my journey just the same.

It seemed like a long time ago. The year was 637 AD, and I was studying under the master Ninja and Carpenter, Sado Asuka. His philosophy was, ‘To master the blade of the Ninja, one must master the tools of the Carpenter’. He said this often. We built a Shinto shrine in his back yard and a rumpus room, for his kids. It was strange that he spoke English, but I digress. One day I was using the hand tools, as I was told, practicing my Miyajim-tsugi, or as the master said, in his best East Anglia accent, ‘halved oblique scarf joint’, when an elder from the village told me that I was needed, to help build a defensive wall, to protect the village from a pending attack.

Before I had finished the wall, a horde of marauders attacked. Three people died, a dozen people, including myself were injured, and hundreds had their feelings hurt. My injuries were severe and I was to be carted, by ox, to another village, where I could receive better treatment for my wounds. It is unfortunate that on the trip, the ox got spooked and fell off the path, into the ironically named, Ox Death Crevasse, pulling me with him. Neither I nor the ox survived.

Though I had considered ordering some chisels, I made the decision to buy a jigsaw instead. Off to Acme tools I went. They had many jigsaws and I had looked at them all before. I have researched jigsaws and already knew that I wanted the Festool PSB 300 EQ-Plus. They have this tool and I asked the sales person about it. He pointed out several features that I wasn’t aware of and the deal was done. I bought it. This is not the story of my new jigsaw, but the story of its packaging.

He went to the back and got my jigsaw. It comes in a hard plastic case. The handle is in the middle of the lid. It looks strange, but it is actually very comfortable to carry. The latches are heavy duty and fasten securely. The case is molded in such a way that it is stackable. Apparently they have designed the outside of their tool cases to fit together with one another. So if I later purchase their random orbital sander, and I likely will, the case will stack neatly on top of the jigsaw. There are also slide up latches that allows one to connect the cases together, so they don’t fall off, if you are pulling them on a cart. Should I also decide to buy one of their uber cool dust collectors, the top of the dust collector is designed for the tools to sit on it, and because it has wheels, you can cart your tools around together.

I love brilliant packaging. I haven’t been this excited about the packaging of a product, since I worked at GEICO, “Where a 15 minutes could save you 15% on your auto insurance.”, and a friend showed me the new iPod. He called it a Nano. I had to have one. This was my first iPod. I still have the iPod and the packaging. I believe that the packaging is a good indicator of the quality inside. I know, you can’t always judge a book by its cover, but if a company puts so much time, thought and engineering into the case, it is reasonable that they probably spent some time building a pretty good tool too.

So I will finish up my saw horse feet with my jigsaw. The practicing of cutting with my Japanese hand saw will continue. And I will mourn the loss of the villagers and the ox that perished because of my unwillingness to use the right tool for the right job.

Stepping through the beveled corner, art deco inlay, looking glass, into the world of woodworking is an experience that is humbling to say the least.   On another woodworking site, a blogger posed the question, are ‘Dovetails’ overrated?  The article was well written, the comments were astounding.  The debate between the pro-tail vs. the pro-choice factions was more contentious than an abortion debate three days before a presidential election.

Wonderland indeed!  The one point that I took away from the debate was that choosing to learn to cut dovetails by hand required a lot of practice and patience.  As someone who revels in his obsessive compulsive side, this epiphany appealed to me more than pizza and beer on a Saturday night.  Admittedly I am not a huge fan of beer, but I LOVE pizza; And I didn’t want say ‘Pizza and Diet Dew’, lest any readers think I am a big sissy.

As I cracked a diet dew, I decided that I would begin my study by buying a chisel.  My general rule is to always buy the best I can find.  My knowledge of chisels was limited to knowing how to spell chisel, and I only recently learned that.  The internet pointed me towards Lie-Nielson.  Several other articles taught me that socket chisels are nice because the handles are less prone to splitting.  Apparently the steel should be around 60 – 62 something, so it is not too soft and not too hard.  This sounded like a fairy tale about 3 bears and a porridge stealing juvenile delinquent.  But who am I to question the wisdom of those who come before me?!  Lie-Nielson chisels are of this design.  I felt smarter just for knowing that.  I decided that I wanted a set of bench chisels, a fish tail, skew chisel and possibly a 3/8 mortise chisel.  They only cost $555.00.

With my brand new 3/8” Irwin chisel (around $10.00) in hand, I took the old mallet I had found in the garage, and tapped it gently into my practice wood.  The Lie Nielson will have to come at a later date.  The practice wood was a lovely little piece of hard maple; she had a nice figure and was a bit shy.  I could tell it was her first time too.  As I tapped that wood with my tool I felt nervous.  Was I doing it right?  Was I hurting my lovely piece of wood?  Was it good for her?

An hour later I had finished.  I had drilled and chiseled my way to my first mortise.  I was sweating but filled with joy.  Oh the euphoria.  So this is what all the fuss is about!  I had chiseled out a 2 and ¼ inch by 3/8” mortise and was now ready to think about moving onto the tenon.  Of course, this would have to wait for another day, as I wasn’t ready for another go.  I just wanted to bask in the glow of my first mortise.

I learned several interesting things about chisels.  They are able to remove much thinner and cleaner shavings of wood than I would have imagined.  I had assumed that they would take large chunks of wood with each hit.  As I pared down the sides and brought the corners to 90 degrees(ish), the need for mastering hand tools became clearer than a D flawless diamond and quite possibly more valuable.  I know now that if I can learn to use these wonderful tools, if I can make them do my bidding, then I just may be able to create a masterpiece or at the very least, a nice cutting board.

It is ironic that, two days before, I had been thinking how I might use my plunge router to cut the mortises I would need for the Krenov saw horses I was attempting.  I still believe that it will be equally important to be able to cut them with power tools, and I will likely cut far more using a router than I will a chisel, in my lifetime.  But I doubt that I will feel the same exhilaration.

So I discovered the joy of hand tools.  I have since cut 7 mortises (4 without a drill) and 7 corresponding tenons by hand.  The last 2 mortises (no drill) took less than 26 minutes each, which was a vast improvement over 1 hour.  As I continued to meander through the wonderland, I happened upon a rabbit that said, “You should probably learn how to sharpen your chisel” and he winked.  The wink made it seem dirty somehow.  As I thought about the rabbit, I realized that this is why this journey is such a joy.  Each day brings a new challenge.  Each challenge opens a door.  Each door leads to a hallway with more doors.  I doubt I will ever find my way back to the mirror.

(Editor’s Note: Ok, I don’t actually have an editor, but I like the sound of it. I did want to say that I appreciate all the encouraging comments from the 1st post I threw up yesterday. As of the writing of this post there were 321 people who had read my previous post, and 3.4% of you chose to leave a comment. To the 96.4% who didn’t comment, I can only assume that your mother told you, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, say nothing at all.” To those non-posters, please feel free to mock my spelling, grammar or content…But NOT my hat…never my hat!)