My Journey in Writing, Ranting, and Woodworking

The sharpening monk looked at my work, then looked at me.  He turned it over in his hands and ran his fingers across the handle.  He looked up at me after setting it on the router table and said, “This is a vast improvement over the last jig.  I would rank this, based upon the craftsmanship you displayed, as being somewhere between a pile of cat sick and ‘eh’.”

I nodded solemnly as I said, “Thank you master.”

To those who don’t know the sharpening monk, it might not be apparent that he was paying me a compliment.  He was.  I remember when I first started to visit him in slumberland, and a seasoned student was standing next to a Federal inlaid chest of drawers, which he had just finished, when the master said, “Your interpretation of the Federal period, makes me wish the icy hand of death would snatch me from this room, cast me into hell, and make me listen to Gilbert Gottfried singing a medley of Pavarotti and Taylor Swift songs.”

I was horrified.  The student seemed pleased.  After the master had left the room I asked him why he was so happy.  He said, “The monks are men of few words.  When the master says something like, “It is fine.” he is saying that we did not try to do something special.  When he compares the work to the ‘rotting entrails, which the vultures passed on.’ He is quite pleased.  It is his way.  The longer the rant the better.

“What does he say if something is really terrible?”  I asked the student, who was running a cloth the wood of his chest.

“If it is really terrible…”  he said, then paused, looked at me and smiles, “then he teaches.”

So I felt pretty good at his appraisal.  Personally I am quite pleased with the results.  It is much sturdier than the first attempt.  I enjoyed building it, especially the handle which took 90 minutes of carving with my micro-planes.  I connected the handle by drilling 3/8″ holes in both the handle and the carriage, and used dowels and glue.  The back plate is simply screwed to the carriage.  I did take great care to make sure that everything is flat and level, as this is important in cutting the splines.  The only downside with this jig, is that it limits the box size to one with a 4 inch high side.  Perhaps one day, I may make another one, for larger boxes.  For now, I have a wonderful jig, that is comfortable to use, safe, and just a little bit sexy.