My Journey in Writing, Ranting, and Woodworking

“You were right.” I said to Archie, “They loved the name the chisel contest.”

Archie smiled and said, “I am glad to have helped.”

Everyone gathered on or around the router table.  The excitement was palpable.  Not only did our judges, Archie, Marey, Teri and Tracy show up, but some of the other tools came too.  The last two days everyone had gotten to know both chisels and found that they were very friendly.

I started the meeting by reading some of the suggested names.  “Everyone, these are just a few of the suggested names for our new friends.  They are not listed in any particular order, so please wait until I get to the end of the list to make comments.”

The crowed settled down and the two, as of yet named tools, seemed a little nervous, but in an excited way.

“Hunkahank & Priss, Chip & Nemo, Jack & Daine…”

The English plane couldn’t contain himself and burst out, “I love John Mellencamp…’A little ditty about Jack and Diane…Two American kids growin up in the heartland..”

I tried to stop the English Plane, but before I  knew it, everyone was signing…myself included, “Jackies gonna be a football star…Diane debutante backseat of Jackie’s car.”

When we finished there was much laughter and clapping, the English plane took his seat and was feeling very proud of himself.  The two chisels were smiling too.   I continued with the list, “Manfried and Donna, Mr. T and Guppy, actually two people suggested Mr. T,  now the next one, also has a musician theme.”  I paused and looked at the English plane.

“No more songs, I promise.”  he said with a grin.  I wasn’t sure I believed him.

“Captain and Tennile”  I said slowly and waited for a chorus of ‘Muskrat Love’, when it didn’t come I started up with a few more suggestions, “Otto and Inga, Stan and Oliver which is a great reference to Laurel and Hardy.”

I probably shouldn’t have given my commentary, lest I bias the judges.  The fish tail chisel didn’t seem like she was overly enthused with being named for Stan Laurel.

“Two people suggested Reggie and Veronica, there was a Frick and Frack, Batman and Robin, Linus and Lucy and Rosemary and Crosby”

A few of the tools began to whisper among themselves as I read the remainder of the list.  The chisels sat patiently waiting to find out what their new names would be.  There was one question.

Marey asked, “Did anyone give a reason for their name choices?”

“Yes, there was one who gave a delightful answer”  I said and then read from the post, “They make me think of my grandparents. Manfred and Donna, Manfred is a stout and thick Norwegian man. Not over tall or big, but strong and steady – oak-ish, able to work hard from sunup to sundown to take care of his family. Endurance would be the definition of him. And he’s married to the only woman he’s ever loved Donna, who looks thin and proper though she’s not overly comfortable around the “polite society” of church ladies.”

Everyone was hushed.  Marey turned away, she said she had some sawdust in her eye.  The twins Teri and Tracy whispered among themselves.

“Are there anymore questions?”

Nobody said anything and the new chisels hugged each other.  The judges met and held a vote, it was unanimous.  We came back to the group and I said.  “It gives me great pleasure to introduce the newest member of our tool family, Manfred and Donna.”

Everyone cheered! The English plane couldn’t contain himself and busted into song, “Little ditty about Manfred and Donna…two Norwegian kids doing the best they can…”

Thanks Derek Olsen.  Great Names!