The End is Near

He had always believed in the scout motto, ‘Be Prepared’, though he wasn’t as scout.  The was a strange homeless man who apparently was a scout, or perhaps he was a defrocked priest, because he was always saying that ‘The End is near, be prepared!’.  He would then prattle on, presumably giving more details about when the end was coming, but Jeramy was usually out of ear shot by then.

Jeremy had adopted the maloderous man’s motto the first time he barely heard him say it, many years before.  It seems the end had been near by for some time, but was dilly dallying.

It had made him thing about all the times he hadn’t been prepared.  As a young boy, realizing that his brother’s description of circumcision (getting your ear wax removed by a doctor), was a bit off the mark, and knowing that there wasn’t any escape from the doctors office, lept to his mind.  Yes indeed, he had not been prepared on that day.  Or when he was arrived to at his girlfriends house, to take her to the spring ball, only to find that she had dumped him weeks earlier, had failed to mention it to him, and was now dating the largest and most ill tempered boy in their class.  He had been unprepared for the rejection or the right hook that found his left eye.

He had been unprepared for life at University, especially the exams that seemed to be inconveniently scheduled the days after a rousing night at the pubs.  He had been unprepared for Jim ‘The Mauler’ McGinty, to get the 4th ace, when Jeramey had bet everything on his full house.  He still had bad dreams of that night, the four aces mocking him, as Jim hauled the pot away.  He had been unprepared for almost every aspect of his life, and when he first heard the strange man utter those words, he decided to become more prepared.  He took to reading the labels at the market, and bought food that marginally healthier than before.  He often looked both ways, twice, before crossing the street.  He checked the tire pressure on his scooter twice a week.  He was a paragon of preparedness.

So when he took up woodworking, well he didn’t rush into anything.  He read reviews of tools, talked to people before he bought.  And then mulled it over some more.  In fact, he had become prepared to the point where he was almost incapable of making a decision.  Well on this day, a day which saw sun shining, the birds warbling, and the cats napping, he decided that he had taken every precaution, and was now fully prepared to make a decision.

So he did one more lap around the internet, thought about the dovetails he had been working on, and made the move.  It was exciting, he filled out his address, submitted his credit card, and after several minutes of making sure he hadn’t blundered, he hit the ‘purchase’ button.  There were few times in his life were he felt confident that his decision was correct, and he pondered some of them.  The tattoo that said ‘Beth Forever’, which had not fully healed, before she left him for a swarthy Latvian man.  The decision to try to date only Beths for the next three years had proved limiting.  The purchasing of the watch from the guy in the raincoat had turned out to be a less than optimal decision and resulted in several missed appointments, not the least of which was the dinner celebrating the aforementioned Beth’s parents 35th wedding anniversary, at the Latvian House of Kabob and  Seafood.

So he reviewed his logic, thought about the Lie-Nielsen 3/4 inch bench chisel and 3/8 inch fishtail chisel which were now on their way, and he felt good.  He felt very good.  With thoughts of a couple of new tools being on their way, Jeramey went back to the basement, cleaned up a bit, and continued to practice his dovetails.  He was learning a skill that would prepare him to make some pretty neat stuff, he just hoped that he  mastered it before the ‘End’ arrived.



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