Extremely Average

Tonight all I did was kick butt.  After returning from Wal-mart where I put on a grocery shopping display that was legendary for a single male.  Back in the day I used to shop so that I would have plenty of food for the next 24 to 36 hours.  Today I loaded up, thus eliminating extra trips and saving more time for woodworking.

When I got home and put everything away, I immediately went to the basement to continue working on the jig.  I have been talking about it for some time and I don’t think too many people are able to envision my plan.  Well tonight I got the feet cut in rough form and the holes drilled for the cam clamps.

This allowed me to assemble the jig to check it out.  I am amazed at how close it is to right on.  There are some small areas that need a touch or two with the file, but for the most part it rest on the table flat and the tracks are just about perfect.  Of course I will fuss over it until they are even closer to perfect, but that is the fun.  I also plan to spend a fair amount of time sanding and making the feet pretty.

I  am pleased that the legs work so well.  My requirement was that they be able to either rest on top of my workbench or be clamped to the end of it.  The below pictures show how they can do both.  It is nice to have the feet adjustable, because it will allow me to move them into the edges for thinner projects.  I intend to make several sets of top block which would attack under the track on the right.  This will allow me to cut thin strips of consistent width, which was one of my original requirements.  I realize that most people who are woodworkers would use their table saw, but I don’t have one yet, so this will do for now.  Mostly though it has been an exercise in solving problems.  That has made it a worthwhile project.

It has always been important for me to focus on the tiny details in these early, and relatively easy projects.  This will build the attitued that will help me attain a  higher level of quality when I am building a table, or chair, or bookshelf, or anything which I want to display proudly in my home.  Of c ourse, since mom and dad are the only two people who know where the bunker is, they will be the only ones to see my creations, but that is ok.  Mom will be impressed and she will bake me chocolate chip cookies.

So I have worked out 2 of the 3 parts of my 3 in 1 jig.  Next I need to figure out the drilling jig portion.  Then I should be done and ready to pick another project, which is always fun.  Sorry everything was so late tonight.  I was really on a roll and just couldn’t pull myself away for the blog as quickly as I usually do.

One revelation since the beginning of my woodworking journey, is that sometimes you just need to suck it up and get after it.  I goof around, trying ideas out on scrap, experiment with different methods to accomplish the task, under the guise of learning.  This behavior leads to really lengthy projects that progress at a snails pace.  At the moment that I was done with work for the day, I walked down to the basement, grabbed a nice piece of walnut, and began.

The walnut was clamped to the workbench, with a guide for my circular saw.  A quick pass on one side gave me a straight edge.  I flipped it around cut the other side.  Both ends were trimmed flush with my router and Freud 2 inch flush trim bit.  Next the board was cut in half, giving me two 12 inch sections.  I checked them against each other and found that they were very close to identical.  I quick pass with the router again and I had the feet for my jig.

Getting to this point was easy.  It is amazing how many times I have made things difficult.  Today I was efficient.  This was a new experience and it was more delightful than answering the door and finding a super model delivering a sausage pizza.  The other night I got to the same point with some oak, but then the debacle began when I started goofing around with my chisel.  So I marked the notch I needed to cut out.  I clamped both boards into the vice and made three quick cuts with the cross cut blade on my Japanese handsaw.

Why 3 cuts you say?  That is a good question.  I could have messed around with just two, but I reasoned that if I cut a small notch out, near the edge that had the tab broken off, I would avoid that problem.  So I used the same technique one uses when removing the waste on a dovetail.  This took almost no time at all, and I had two pieces of wood that only needed a bit of cutting with the coping saw.

I could have tried to remove the remaining waste with just one cut across the length of the marked area, but I decided that little steps would be good.  So every little bit, when my shoulder was getting tired, I would take the Japanese hand saw and cut off the progress.  This created a nice little pile of small chunks of walnut.  I found this to be fun and it did let me practice a dozen or so cuts.  So I was goofing around a little bit, but mostly I was just making sure that I was moving steadily towards my goal.

This is a project that should have taken two days at most, and I am sure a more experience woodworker would have done it in an hour.  But I am not a more experience woodworker, and now that I am close to getting the first two parts of the jig completed, I am feeling rather proud.  The next step on the feet is to spend a ridiculous amount of time sanding, shaping and generally futzing around with them.  I do love experimenting, but today it was important to get past the terrible tab blunder, to cleans my sole of the shame of that blunder.  I feel better and now I am going to get back to work, or eat some popcorn, or quite possibly, I may do both.

There wasn’t much to look at now.  The DA was out of sight almost immediately, but Henry still stood and looked down to the street, almost in a trance.  He knew the next few minutes would be important, he hoped he had misjudged the DA, because that would make life a good deal easier.  Henry was shaken out of his daze by the phone.

He grabbed the phone and put it to his hear.

“I see him Henry; he is going into the alley.”  Luna said

“Can you see all the way to the other end of the Alley?”  Henry asked.

“Almost, but there is a car half way down, and 4 men just got out of it.  They look serious.”

“Keep watching.”  Henry instructed, feeling certain he knew what was coming.

Luna continued her commentary, “Ok, the men are standing by the car doors, Mr. McKinley is still walking towards them.  The driver has just walked out to meet him.  They look like they are talking.  He just handed the man the journal and oooh” Luna gasped.

“What is it?”

“The man he gave the Journal to just hit him.  He went down and now the other guys are dragging him to the side of the alley.  Oh, one guy just kicked him.”  Luna exclaimed with concern.

“Don’t worry Luna, I am sure he is ok.  I suspected this was his game.”

“Ok” she said in a quiet voice, obviously upset by the violence.

“You best head back to the office, I am going to go and get Sylvia and Winston.  I will be back shortly.”

Henry hung up the phone after he heard something resembling an ok, but much quieter.  His suspicion had been confirmed, the leak in the department was the District Attorney.  Henry walked around the desk, reached towards the lamp, but decided to leave it on for Luna.  Henry then put on his overcoat and hat and walked out of the office.  He listened to his own shoes, they didn’t sound the same as the DA’s expensive ones, and he wondered if he should check on him.  Though he now hated the DA, and knew that Mike lay in the hospital because of his betrayal, he wanted to make sure the thugs hadn’t been too rough.  Henry wanted Mr. McKinley to be alive and well.  He needs Mr. McKinley to think that Henry believes he was robbed by some thugs.  Henry thought he should go check on him, but decided he just didn’t want to do it.  He was sure that the DA would have planned for this, and that there would be a phone call tomorrow, explaining what had happened and how they were doing everything in their power to recover the journal.

Though Henry didn’t like thinking about the DA being corrupt, it did mean one thing.  Tommy would back off now.  He had the journal and life would return to normal.  Actually that wasn’t entirely true, Tommy had ‘a’ journal, not ‘the’ journal.

Winston, with the help of Luna and Sylvia, meticulously made up a journal filled with jumbled letters and numbers, and now Tommy ‘The Knife’ would get a coded journal, just as he was expecting.  Once he burned it, the problem would be almost completely solved, except for the one loose end.  The loose end, of course, was Luna’s father.

Henry didn’t know where he was, but he figured that if Tommy’s boys hadn’t been able to find him yet, he was probably safe.  The plan is simple now.  Find the rest of the codex and unravel the real journal.  Once Henry knew what Luna’s father had on Tommy, he would be able to play the end game.  He would be able to get justice for Mike and put Tommy and the DA behind bars for many years.

Henry waved to Winston across the street, and then knocked on the window where Sylvia was on the lookout.   As the three of them walked back to the office, Henry brought them up to speed.  Neither of them had much to say, as they were both feeling like the world had shrunk considerably.  Something about finding out that the DA is in cahoots with the worst gangster in town had dampened their mood considerably.

Luna was sitting on the edge of the desk when they got back.  Henry laid out his plan for putting things right.  He wanted to sound confident that everything would turn out all right, but he didn’t think he could pull it off, so he just said his piece and they called it a day.  Tomorrow they would all gather and look over the most recent clue.

‘Even in failure one can succeed in gaining knowledge’

- Timothy Chippendale, the little known brother of Thomas, who not only failed at woodworking but also, horse back riding, masonry, and eventually personal hygene, said this early on in life.  Later in life his quotes were much more colorful, as he also failed at sobriety, and became an angry bitter man who had a lot of cats.

Despite the fictional Tim’s rough imaginary life, it was still a good quote. The success in the shop today came in the form of multiple failures. I have figured out the exact dimensions for the legs on my jig. That wasn’t the failure, the failures came when I stripped a screw on my router plate. Now I can’t get the plate off, so I am unable to re attach it to my router table.

Next on the it parade was some rather inaccurate cuts with my beloved Japanese hand saw. It seems like I have actually gotten worse, which is perhaps because I haven’t been practicing as I had earlier in the year. The cuts just weren’t that straight. Not the end of the world, as the cuts were not difficult to clean up. The real blunder came next.

First of all there was an efficiency blunder. I spent close to 45 minutes trying to figure out how to cut out a notch that turned out to be really easy with the coping saw. I can’t believe how easy it was and how hard I was trying to make it. Finally, I had cut out a recess for the two Rockler tracks and had it looking just perfect when I broke off one of the tabs I created. The tabs will allow me to move and clamp down the feet. With one tab missing it just doesn’t work. The really sad part was that the tab was fine as it was and I was just futzing around with my chisel trying to make only slightly better. About 20 seconds before I broke off the tab I even thought to myself, “Be careful, it might snap right off, and that would be …d’oh.” Sometimes I just don’t listen.

About 5 years ago I was playing softball and was on 1st base with one out. I grew up loving baseball and my dad and I spent hours talking about strategy. It is taught to every little league player, at a very young age, ‘Tag on a fly ball, with less than 2 outs.’ At age 38 I got doubled off first base on a one out fly ball. That had never happened to me before. We won the game, by 12 or 13 runs, so in the end it just didn’t matter, but it still bothers me today. But with age comes wisdom and a certain level of mellowness.

During the 30 seconds following the breaking off of the tab, despite my specific instructions to myself to be careful, I quickly calmed down. It just wasn’t such a big deal. I made a small piece of oak, worthless for this project, but I will use it for something else. If it had been ebony or something similarly rare, it would have stung more. I am getting good at putting things into perspective.

The screw that is stripped can likely be removed with some bit of cleverness. If not, I will just buy another router base, as I had planned on doing it anyway, so the one could remain dedicated to the table. Choosing to take time to write the blog has helped too. I will finish this up, then go grab some more wood and give it another go. No need to beat myself up, take up masonry, or to start drinking and wallowing in self pity. I am just a pizza is half uneaten sort of guy, and next time, I will do a better job of listening.

The afternoon had slipped by and Henry felt as if each grain through the hour glass had been piling upon his shoulder.  The wait was almost unbearable.  He wondered if D.A. Mark McKinley would be on time, he suspected he might be early, but with it already being 10:45 pm, that ship was almost out of the harbor.  So he sat.  Feet up on the desk.  His left hand mindlessly tapping his Dixon Ticonderoga against the edge of the open drawer.

The drawer was the second one down on the left side of the desk.  It wasn’t open very far.  Just far enough that he could see his revolver lying there, waiting to be called upon if needed.  The gun didn’t seem at all concerned with the passage of time, or the stakes of the gamble he was taking.  It has just one job, it knows its job, and it will do it when called upon, end of story.

Slowly, tap, tap, tap.  Henry listened to the sound of traffic outside.  The window was shut, but a city like New York doesn’t let itself be muffled by a lousy window.  The familiar wail of ‘Taxi’, the splashing of puddles, the honking of horns, all indicated that the Big Apple was alive and well.  Going about it’s business.  Marching to the beat of time, as it had for longer than Henry had been there, and knowing it would be there long after he had gone.

10:46 and Henry thought about the closet.  He wondered where it went to, it’s relationship to time.  The last clues, which he hadn’t had time to truly study.  He thought about why he hadn’t had time to study the bevy of tools, and how that reason was still lying in a hospital, broken.  He thought about the little girl willing him back to health.

The pencil paused, did he hear something coming down the hall?  He listened, then the muted banging of a door, somewhere near the other end, closing, and the faint metal clicking of the lock being turned.  Then the footsteps walking away and only the city noises remained.  Tap, Tap, Tap started the pencil again, finding the same measure of time, and settling back into waiting.

Winston stood in a doorway, down from the office, his collar turned up against the cold night air.  He could see the little restaurant down the street where Sylvia sat at the window.  She was not eating, more nibbling on her food, her senses were alive and she made sure that she saw everything passing outside.  As the hour approached 11:00 she felt her stomach tightening.  Luna had gotten a room at a hotel the other direction from Henry’s office and had perched in the window.  She could see the entire street and the alley behind the strange triangular building.  They had all the angle covered.

When the pencil stopped this time, Henry set it down.  The soft leather of expensive shoes was padding it’s way down the hall.  He was early, but not so much as to seem desperate, which Henry suspected he was.  Henry didn’t like the DA.  He didn’t like the way he wielded his power, and he didn’t like the way he felt like Mr. McKinley hadn’t even asked how Mike was doing.

There was a pause just outside the door.   A slight shuffling as if the DA was checking to see if he was at the right office, and then he turned the knob and walked in, like a cat who was up to no good.  Henry had left the door between the office and the outer office open.  When the DA walked in, Henry stood slowly and walked around to shake his hand.  He grabbed it warmly with both hands.  Displaying not a sign of his dislike.

“I see you made it.”  Henry said and returned back behind the desk.

“Yes, you thought I might not?”  the DA said, removing his hat.

“No, I knew you would show up.  This is too important.  Did anyone follow you?’

“Follow me?  No, why?  Nobody knows I am coming here, why would they?”  he replied with more verve than seemed appropriate, and the DA sensed he was going on a bit, and quickly regained his composure and demanded, “So let’s have it.”  His voice was now much more measured

This only seemed to confirm his suspicion. The effort the DA was making to control his emotions and to hide the secret agenda Henry suspected, made it clear.  Henry pulled the drawer further open, reached past the revolver and removed the journal.  He looked at it for a moment, just to see if Mr. McKinley might get anxious again.  He didn’t and Henry handed it across the desk.

“You have done a great thing Mr. Wood, this will be the end of Tommy and his gang.  Now I’ve got them.”  he said as he opened the journal and held it under the desk lamp.  He flipped a few pages and then a few more.  “This looks like it is some sort of code.”

“It is.  That is what has been taking me so long.  I have been looking for the key that will let me break it.”  Henry said, sitting down and leaning back in his chair.

“You don’t have the key?”  the DA exclaimed, not seeming too concerned.

“No, and I don’t know where it is.  But I will keep looking”

“Good, good, of course we can’t proceed until we know what this says, but at least it is safe now.”  he calmly stated as he closed the journal up and tucked it into his coat.  “Thanks again Mr. Wood, thanks for keeping this safe, the city appreciates it.”

“Yeah, well I will keep looking for the key, and when I find it, you lock that bastard Tommy up.”  Henry stood and The DA quickly shook his hand and said softly, “You don’t worry about a thing Mr. Wood, I will take care of it.”

And with that he left.  Henry listened to his feet walk down the hall and stood by the window to watch which way he exited the building.  A moment later, the DA exited onto the street below, looked around nervously and then turned to the left.  He was heading towards Luna’s vantage point.  Henry hoped he was wrong about the DA, but he knew in his gut he wasn’t.

It has been said that a picture is worth somewhere in the neighborhood of 900 – 1100 words. I bought the Stanley 110 and 120 for $25.00 each, the Stanly 51 spokeshave for $29.00, and a plane I didn’t see yesterday. I am most excited about the Jack plane. It doesn’t look like it has been used very much and even came with the original box which had a very cool advertisement for Stanley Four Square tools. I spent $38.00 on the Jack plane.

When I came home I was excited to do a tool photo shoot, but I had to do some cleaning and general to do list stuff. The little plastic end caps on my 4 Jet clamps had fallen off some time ago. This makes tightening with handles somewhat painful, so I super glued them back on. Next I got out my Dremel 4000 and addressed the ends of my quick clamps. They are very sharp and have scratched me several times, so I ground down the sharp bits. Then I put a massive clean on my shop and generally reveled in the growth of my tool selection over the last few months. I remember when I just had the 4 Jet clamps and one Japanese hand saw. I felt so inadequately prepared. Though I don’t have any of the major pieces of equipment that would be found in most shops, I have enough that I can do a small measure of woodworking.

So that was my day in pictures.  I am going to dig into my books and develop a plan for lapping the soles and tuning up the planes.

I awoke this morning and ate a bacon, egg and cheese sandwich.  As I sat and ate, nom nom nom, I thought about the rest of the day.  This day was a ‘blank sheet’ and I had some ‘writer’s block’.  I intended to work on my jig a bit, so I made a mental note on the blank page in my mind.  As I stared at the sole objective it occurred to me that I needed another set of Rockler cam clamps, or as I like to call them, clampy thingies.

A trip to ACME was added to the list.  That was all I needed on my list, as I was sure that other good ideas would present themselves.  A quick shower and I was off.  Out of AAA batteries and air filters for the furnace, I noted it and decided to keep my eyes open for a reasonable place to buy both.

ACME in Cedar Rapids has recently increased their hours on Saturday, now open until 5:00, or is it 5:30, I don’t know, I just know that it is not 3:00.  It is ironic that, on this day, I was not in danger of bumping up against 3:00.  I arrived with all sorts of time to look around.  I found my cam clamps, ran across a feather board, and then happened to see the Shop Fox set of templates.  I already have this set.  What was interesting is that when I saw it, I realized that my design for the router planer portion of my jig was all wrong.  I didn’t need to make a special base plate, I could just use the 1 inch template.  The bit I had imagined using for the planing is actually 1 1/4″, so it obviously wouldn’t work.  I picked out a lovely 3/4 Freud double flute straight bit.

While at ACME I met a delightful gentleman named Mr. Houser.  He is a woodworker and turner.  It was obvious that he is much more experienced than me, and we talked about lathes.  I can’t remember the name of his lathe, but it sounds very cool.  It is made in Australia and doesn’t have belts.  How it keeps it’s pants up, I don’t know, nor did I ask.  His mother was an artist who kept meticulous records and we discussed the merits of such.  It did get me thinking about how I am, through the blog, actually keeping pretty good records of my projects.  This made me happy.

Target called me into its big boxness and I looked about for my batteries and air filters, which I promptly found.  I mentally crossed it off my list.

When downtown Marion appeared up ahead, the list suddenly included, ‘shop at antique stores’.  So I wondered into the Park Place Hotel Antique Mall.  It is right next to the Boardwalk Hotel Antique Mall, and only a few spaces from Go.  I did not pass Go, nor did I collect $200.00.  In fact, I had a bit of a financial crisis.

At one of the booths there were a couple of very enticing hand planes.  A Stanley 110, Stanley 220, and a Stanley 15 spokeshave.  All 3 could be had for $79.00.  I don’t know if this is a good deal.  I am hoping a reader will be able to tell me.  I decided I would risk it.  All three are in beautiful shape.  I am sure the bottoms will need to be lapped and the blades sharpened, but to look at the bottoms they very nice.  The rest of the bodies are excellent too.  Now I don’t now anything about antique hand planes, but I have been lusting after getting some planes, since I bought the English plane.

The problem began when she ran my debit card.  It gave her a weird message that she had never seen, so she tried again, and it didn’t work.  I had checked my balance before leaving for the day, so I didn’t know what the problem was until I got home.  Both charges were pending.  I called and asked her about it.  It turns out that the antique mall isn’t set up for debit cards and that was the problem.  So I got on the phone and called PayPal and a very helpful man named Chris was able to cancel both sales.  He was great, as if I had just waited for the charges to come off on their own, it would have taken 5 business days for the money to show up back in my account.

The good news is that the lady at the Antique Mall put all three items behind the counter for me.  I will simply go get some cash tomorrow and then use legal tender to buy them.  That is, unless the clever readers tell me I shouldn’t.  So the question of the day is this, is this a good deal.  Stanley 110 @ $25.00, Stanley 220 @$25.00 and a Stanley spokeshave @ $29.00?

Back in the shop tonight, not a sketch pad in sight.  I have continued to do all the planning in my head for my 3 in 1 jig.  The plan this evening was to take two pieces of scrap and create two practice moveable spacers.  It would require that I drill (4) 5/16th in holes through the width of the pieces.  My uber cool drilling jig performance was more beautiful than Enrico Curuso singing ‘Santa Lucia’ in front of a full house.

I used a piece of scrap behind the pieces and didn’t get any tear out.  The holes were straight.  It was really fantastic when I checked the first one and it was flawless.  The wave of happiness was almost as good as when I buy a new tool.  I did a little dance.  The idea that I am envisioning, is that the two spacers will hold the unit together and be able to move in and out so that one can move it in tight against the wood.  There will be a cut mark in both sides and that will allow me to line up the line on the board, before I tighten everything up.

The mock up looks like it would actually work, but I believe that I want the spacers to be a bit taller.  I also found that the current design isn’t easily to clamp to my workbench.  I am able to use the twins, Teri and Tracy, to hold the jig, but that isn’t exactly what I had hoped for, so I will mull it over a bit and perhaps make a design change.

The other issue, is that if I am clamping it to the saw horses it is less solid, and takes a bit of time to set up.  I have considered that this jig may be, unless I come up with an idea, not very quick to use.  I like to think of myself as a clever monkey. It is a lot of fun to try to figure out a solution that will make me happy.   This is how I work.  I just sort of inch along.  And with each passing brainstorming session I get a bit closer to what I want.  It worked for the Router Table project and it seems to be working for this one too.

What one can’t see in the pictures is all of the design ideas, probably a dozen, which I considered and then discarded because of flaws.  I should mention it again, I hope to be able to use the sawing portion of the jig, to cut thin pieces for doing laminate tops.  It seems that this project isn’t great at  yielding a fascinating story, but alas, that is what I am working on.  I am glad that tomorrow is Saturday.  Lots of time to goof around.

It started out like any other day.  The sun was shining the birds were singing show tunes, including, but not limited to, a medley from West Side Story. We have very talented birds in Martelle. With the Sharks and Jets rattling around the back of my head, I got right into the usual computer work. The day flew past, like a dove late for choir practice.

As this day was winding down, and my thoughts were turning to woodworking, I got a call. It was from a gentleman whom some would call Howard, others might call him Dr. Meeks, I prefer to go with the nickname I gave him when I was a very young boy, I called him ‘Dad’ back in the late 60′s, and still do today. It suits him.

He had called to ask about the lawn. My front yard had been ravaged in a terrible battle between the sewer fixer people and my yard. It was a long drawn out war, hundreds died. Though the WWI era trench had been filled in, and all the bodies hauled away, ninety percent of the grass had been torn up beyond repair.

A week ago some lawn flattening specialists had pushed the existing dirt around and added some top soil. They had then seeded the entire lawn. We were expecting rain last weekend, but it never arrived. Dad, as I call him, suggested I go out and buy a good hose and sprinkler. He also thought it would be a worthwhile investment to get one of those hose rollie upie devices. I agreed.

I don’t have any experience in lawn care or gardening. I have mowed my parent’s lawn many times, but that isn’t quite the same thing. I have always feared getting into lawn care, as I am told it can be addictive. Tragically my vast yard of dirt is more than I can bear, so off to The Home Depot, which is the reigning Gold Cup garden center in the state of Iowa.

I entered Home Depot and walked past the section with all the shinny Dremel accessories. This was quite an accomplishment in its own right. I spied Brandon, who has helped me before. He was talking with Grant, who manages the award winning garden center. I told them of my needs and they were great. We got me a very manly metal sprinkler with nice brass connectors. [pauses typing to move the aforementioned sprinkler...returns with a diet dew]

I also selected a nice rollie upie device with wheels and a 50′ rubber hose made from recycled Goodyear tires, that quite possibly competed in the Indianapolis 500. Ok, I made that last part up, but that is ok, let’s call it poetic license. The point is that on the Earth Day, my purchase of a hose made from recycled tires will likely save the planet from ultimate destruction, and help me get a nice green carbon sucking lawn.

Thus far, nothing too evil sounding you say? Well I am not done yet am I? I have gotten into the embarrassing habit of reading the instructions on every single new power tool I buy. Not only do I read the instructions, I then admit it freely in my blog. It is almost as bad as using a map, which I would never do. When I arrived home and had noticed that there were instructions, I took a moment and a deep breath, casting them aside with a brashness which had been missing in my life.  The Goodyear hose is designed to avoid kinking, which is nice.  I laid it on the ground and connected it to the rollie device.  Next I unconnected it, as I had not done it correctly.  Not to fear, I didn’t turn to the instructions, I simply tried the one other spot.  It worked, I rolled the hose up, and though a portion of the hose did wrap itself around my legs and tried to throw me to the ground, I succeeded, unscathed.

The hose was then connected to the sprinkler, also without any sort of assistance from the instructions.  The sprinkler was pulled, unrolling the hose from the rollie upie device, and placed at the far edge of the battle zone.  But before I could turn it on, I needed to take a picture, so I grabbed my camera.  After getting the shot I wanted of the sprinkler, I went over to play with Maggie, the neighbor’s dog.  Maggie is very friendly, though not a terribly patient model.

The pet photography now done, I turned my attention back to the grass-less knoll that is my yard.  A quick turn of the faucet and the sprinkler sprang to life, bring a mixture of hydrogen and two parts oxygen, to the thirsty seeds.

I felt great pride at my incredibly unimpressive accomplishment.  I love the thought of a finely groomed lawn.  I fear that this love may, in some way, cut into my woodworking time.  And that is why Lawn Care is the evil twin of woodworking, trying to woo me into betrayal.  I must be strong.  I must go move the hose again.  Darn, that is exactly what Lawn Care wanted me to do.

I hold it true, whate’er befall;
I feel it, when I sorrow most;
‘Tis better to have loved and lost
Than never to have loved at all.

      -Alfred Lord Tennyson’s

Some have attributed this to his poem In Memoriam: 27, from 1850, while others believe it was in response to his buddy Benny Smyth Esq., who had just asked him, after several pints at the local house of spirits, “AL, I need a good slogan to drum up some business for my law practice.”

To which Alfred responded, “Buy me a Guinness and I will write you some copy.  Any particular market you want to tap?” 

“I think the divorce business seems lucrative.”

“Consider it done!”

I am curious how much time A.L.T spent considering the words he had written.   Did anyone ask him for the specifics about ‘what’ was being lost?  Does it apply if she takes all your favorite toys?  Would it be the same if it meant you were going to be living in a van down by the river?  Would he still recommend the this ‘love stuff’, if he knew that his own library would end up being sold off by the bitter ex at a garage sale attended by all his neighbors?

If Alfred had thought it through, perhaps he would have written, “Tis better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all, unless of course, you lose the house, your truck, the bass boat, most of your self-respect.  Then I say, that love is over rated, and perhaps you should have considered a prenuptial?”

The point that I am trying to make is that you can’t trust everything you read.  For instance, had you read the blog from yesterday, you might be expecting some precise drawing of my plans for the new three in one jig, as that is exactly what I said I was going to work on.

Much like Bill Clinton, in a pack of free range interns with questionable judgment, I can’t be trusted.  I had every intention of doing some planning, but alas all I did was to pave the road to hell.  Instead I grabbed some wood and started cutting and drilling stuff until I liked it.  This is no way to approach woodworking.

I am disgusted with myself.  I am ashamed.  I am progressing nicely on the project and would say I am well ahead of schedule.  There was a piece of scrap left over from the router table project, so I used the wonderful drilling jig, which I now have, thanks to my neighbor.

I often digress, and this is one of those times where it seems appropriate.  I may have mentioned that I purchased 5 threaded guides from Rockler, for creating jigs to help drill straight holes.  Many of you will remember the router table leg hole drilling fiasco of a few months ago, and these seemed like the perfect solution.  When they arrived, with the Rockler catalog, which I talked about in a previous post, I excitedly showed them to Brian, my neighbor.  Brian is a much more experienced woodworker, than me, and he thought they looked pretty cool.  He then got out some space age measuring device, likely attained from aliens, and proceeded to explain that they needed something or other diameter, fine thread.

I didn’t know what he was talking about and assumed he was reciting something from the alien technology.  The next day he presented me with a cold rolled steel block with two perfectly threaded holes in it.  It has a weight to it that is very manly.  The inserts threaded into it perfectly and there is enough space to easily clamp that puppy onto chunks of wood.

So I used it last night as I needed two holes, ¼ inch, in my 36” piece of hard maple.   I measured carefully, as they needed to be exactly the same distance from the edge.  This piece is intended to be the guide for the rip sawing functionality of my jig.  So I measured each of the holes, carefully placed the jig, clamped it down and drilled.  I then repeated the process with the second hole and finally did a third hole that was more accurate than the 2^nd hole.  In the end, it works just fine.

After I finished the guide I threw myself into the router base plate guides, getting a fairly uneven set, which will need to be cleaned up a bit.  I am going to draw up some designs for the feet tonight.  Wait a minute; did I say that last night?  I may have.  I hope you have learned that whatever you read, especially from me, needs to be taken with a grain of NaCl.  Now back to work, or to snack.