Extremely Average

I had to work today, but sadly, I was unable to go to sleep last night.  So I am a little bit sleepy.  It is hard to write when you are worn out and withered.  It makes one want to rhyme or use a lot of words that start with the same letter.

I don’t drink much, but I’m pretty sure that a sleepy sonnet would be worse than a plastered poem.  I mean, don’t all the cool writers drink?  What is the old adage, “Write drunk, edit sober”.  I know the person who said it, but I just can’t think of his name.  I’m too darn tired.  He was a big guy, wrote about war, lived in the Florida Keys, killed himself…I’m drawing a complete blank.

I hope that someday a tired writer won’t be able to remember my name.  That would be awesome.  I’m not sure why, but it is how I feel, at the moment.  It has also crossed my mind that the last time I ate was about 10 hours ago.  My guinea pig friends will find that shocking and probably a little bit upsetting.

I am so tired I don’t feel like stopping for a nom.  Being this exhausted has one upside.  I will be able to get a massive amount of sleep and be bright eyed and bushy tailed for tomorrow.

It is nap time or nom time.  I’m not sure.  I wish I could sleep snack.

It was my impression that today would be a good day to relax.  The book is finished.  I crossed off the most of the stuff on my to do list.  It seemed a good idea to make a new list, before I got too settled down for some decompress time.

My new list is longer than the first one from last night.  I know that everyone is getting tired of me rambling on about making a book and you would all very much like me to get back to Henry Wood, but I am just swamped.

The great thing about working with Roy Marble on this project is that he is an amazing salesman and motivator.  He is out pounding the streets selling the book and has a list even bigger than mine, about how we could promote it.  That being said, if I want this to be as successful as possible, I need to build some sales infrastructure to allow him to be able to spend his time on sales and not on paperwork.

The good news is, I’m actually very good at that sort of thing.  I’ve built some amazing data tracking tools for GEICO that were a 1000 times more powerful than what we will need to track the sales of one book.  So I know what I’m doing in that area.  It just takes time.

One of the reasons it is so hard to be successful in self-publishing is that the marketing aspect takes a ton of time and energy.  To do it well, one needs to be a specialist.  Of course, if you are, then you aren’t writing more books.  This partnership has been a good one and I look forward to seeing how the public likes our book.  I haven’t forgotten about Henry Wood, but if this goes well, then it may mean I can make my living as a writer, which means more Henry Woods for everyone. 

Okay, back to work.

Today’s to do list looked something like this…

1. Write Bio for back of book
2. Write TOC (Table of Contents)
3. Write Title Page
4. Create Front Only Cover
5. Assign Book to ISBN
6. Finish Layout in Word (To be used in Kindle and Nook versions)
7. Layout book for Print version
8. Upload Print Version
9. Assign ISBN for ebook version
10. Upload Kindle
11. Upload Nook

It has been a good day and the most important thing is to get through step seven before I go to bed, usually around 4 am, these days.

I spent much of the day working on steps one thru three.  I also then, each time I changed my mind on the TOC, had to go back and redo the layout for the Kindle and Nook versions.  This layout, in its clean form, is what I then paste into the template for the print version.

I’m pleased to say that I am working on step six right now.  This isn’t nearly as difficult as I suspected and is much more time consuming than I imagined.  Each step is mostly new for me, so there is some time fiddling around in the dark, as it were, but you may color me triumphant.

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Working in this fashion, when it seems more logical to do the print first, actually was a stroke of genius.  There are additional formatting that one has to do in print, that will only mess up the Kindle version, so by starting with the simpler of the two, I avoid a lot of problems for the ebooks.  I feel quite clever in figuring this out.

I am quite sure I will be done with the print version tonight.  D’oh, I just remembered another thing I need to add to the list

12.  Create separate tiny cover for Amazon display on Kindle version.

Okay, I better stop this silly blog piece and get back to work.  Book building is fun!

Publishing a book is vastly different than writing a book.  I have to say, I’m finding it more pleasant that I imagined.  Yes, there is a fair amount of stress going on here in the bunker, but I’m making it through.

The book, now written is mostly back from my editor.  Her name is Meghan and she is doing a wonderful job.  Last night I spent nearly two hours making a decision about the font.  It is amazing how many varied opinions there are on the subject.  I’ve chosen Garamond.

I also finished the cover, which was important, because though I like playing with the pictures and making it look pretty, I hate writing the text for the back.  I had to suck it up and it turned out okay.

This brings me to the next important part of publishing a book, the ISBN number.  One needs to buy them and they aren’t cheap.  Well, they aren’t cheap if you buy one.  A single ISBN costs $125 or 10 for $250 or 1000 for $1000.  Obviously, the best deal is the 1000, but the thought of writing 1000 books makes me want to pass out.  So I bought 10.

10 seemed like a good choice because I will use one for the print version and one for the ebook version.  This means I have enough ISBN’s for the current project, 3 Henry Wood’s and Howler Monkey Angst:  Guest Blahging for Snarky People.  Okay, that last one is just a working title, but the Howler Monkey Angst part is a definite.

The more I work on this book, the more excited I get about publishing all the other Henry Woods.  Books are fun.

For the record, I think tonight’s blog title is the worst one ever given to a blog post since the internet was invented.

Writing is a strange thing.  Each time I see that someone has bought a Henry Wood, and they weren’t directly involved in me being born, I am a little bit amazed.  Not because I don’t think Henry is a good book, he is a very good book and I like him a bunch, but because it is still hard to believe that I write at all.

I’ve said it before, but in case you missed it, I hated writing before I started my blog.  I did like telling stories, though.  When I was little, sometimes I would be someone difficult to convince to go to bed.  (Note:  I’m using an interpretation of the word “sometimes” as one that is nearly indistinguishable from “Always”.  It’s called poetic license.)  Every now and again Mom would humor me and hang out for a long while after tucking me in bed.  We would talk and giggle for a really long time.  It was awesome.

I called Mom, as I often do, after I posted last nights blahg drivel.  She is a bit under the weather, so we didn’t talk for too long, but before I let her go, I shared with her my latest “Dream”.  I have many of them and they change like the weather.  One is to spend an entire season with a truck and an airstream, following the Cincinnati Reds baseball season. I did the math and I could make all but five games.  The airstream I want is nearly $70,000 and I figured out the whole budget would be close to $100,000.  Of course, I’d write a book about it and easily recoup $328.00 of my costs.

That wasn’t what I wanted to talk about though.  I’ve always thought it would be cool to have a shipping container house.  Yesterday, I found the place I want to build it.  There is a spot in Colorado where one can buy, for the reasonable price of 2.8 million, an old Titan Missile site.  It has 45,000 square feet and three silos.  It would require some cleaning and then an architect like Bob Borson, to make it a home.  I’ve mentioned this to Bob and I believe he rolled his eyes, as he is quite sure that building a shipping container home on a Titan Missile site, would be the low point of his career.   But Mom listened to my silly idea, just as she always did when I was young, and it was fun.

I like to tell a story or dream of fantastic adventures and Mom is always willing to listen.  Thanks Mom, I hope you feel better soon.  Hug.

It was a day for recharging.  The book is written and all the bits are off to the editor. I spent some time with her on the phone and she is hard at work cleaning up my book.  I feel a great sense of relief at having gotten it written.

I’ve made a list of the next tasks I need to get working on.  Lists are awesome and I enjoy drawing a line through a completed task.  So, I had planned on doing nothing today, but a couple of football games and a nap and I’m rearing to go.

So, I think I’ll work on the cover.

I’m already itching to get back to work on Henry, but I’m sure that if I let myself deviate from the task at hand, it may end in tears.  He will be back soon, I promise.

Sometime between now and 3 am I will finish this book.  I have just one half of basketball left to write about and then one additional bit about a friend of Roy’s and it will be done.

It isn’t done yet, so I’m not dancing or cheering, but I did buy a celebratory cheese Danish.  My goal was to have the book be at least 50,000 words and right now I’m at 51,635. Of those, all but 6,999 were written this year.

I’m ready to get back to Henry, as I’m sure you (read my Dad), are for me to do so. I must admit to being really worn out.  Yesterday, I set a new personal best for words in a day.  I bested the old mark of 4,003 from three days ago, by 7.

The writing isn’t the last step, of course, I still have lots of work to do.  I think the cover is done.  My editor has most of the writing in her hot little hands and when I get it back, I’ll need to piece it together.  I’ve not written the book in a linear fashion.

I had an idea for a good post earlier today.  Sadly, I can’t for the life of me remember what it was.

So, I best get to putting those final words down.  Thanks for hanging in there this month through all the whimpering about writing.

It was a snowy day here in Iowa.  For January 20th, that isn’t so unusual.  I didn’t even really notice that it was snowing, as I’ve been hunkered down in the bunker writing.  Two days ago I set a personal best by surpassing the 4,000 word mark.  Yesterday was just shy of 3K.

I’m close to reaching my goal and finishing this book, so it is very exciting, but I still needed to do one thing.  It was around 2:00 when I checked my messages.  T here was one from Pam, at the Iowa basketball offices.  She said they had the rest of the games on DVD for me and that I should probably come pick it up before the snow got too bad.

I looked outside.  Ooops.

So I hustled and changed, then did some speed shoveling.  It was slow going from Martelle to Iowa City and I probably averaged only 45 mph, but I made it there and got the disks.  The drive home was slightly better, oddly enough, as that lane was better ploughed.  So, I have all the stuff I need, to finish the book.

I’ve written 1936 words, today.  I’ll probably write until 3 or 4 am and should smash my new record of 4,003.  Then I have three small sections to write tomorrow and it will be done.

Of course, I still have lots of work to do on the book, for publishing, but the writing will be complete.  So, I better stop writing, as I have too much writing to do.  Hugs.

I don’t know much about Robert Burns, except this, I like his poem, “To A Mouse”.  If I’ve written in once, I’ve written in a dozen times.  “The best-laid schemes o’ mice an’ men, gang aft agley.”

In truth, I just like writing “Gang aft agley”.  It makes me happy.  One might call it a little joy in life.  There are many little joys, for me, in this life.  Writing is a big joy, so it isn’t on the list.  Bacon and Napping are also too important to be on the “little” list, so they too, are omitted.

Still, it is something I was thinking about today, as I drove to central Iowa and back.  I had planned on visiting my parents, but found an email that they were feeling sickly, and as such, thought it best I not visit and be stricken, as well.  Still, I had some stuff to pick up, so I needed to make the run anyway.

It was a beautiful day for a drive through Iowa.  It was, however, made less so by a nagging worry.  The DVDs, which I talked about in yesterday’s post, contained only the 1st half of the games I wanted to write about.  This presented a problem of biblical proportions divided by a metric bunch, which we figured out, equals, not a big one.  Though not life threatening, it did make me worry about being able to complete the book on time.

My head was a jumble with thoughts of not getting the second half footage until next week and how that would certainly spell my doom.  It was troubling.

I returned from the stop at my parents via interstate 80, and as such, would pass in close proximity to Carver Hawkeye Arena.  My hope was that they might have gotten it sorted.  I wanted to give them as much time as possible, so I stopped at Wal-mart and did some grocery shopping.

It was after the grocery shopping and before the check out, that I found myself adding another thing to my little list of joys.  I bought socks.  I love socks and buying more, especially when needed, is certainly a little joy.  My new socks, an eight pack, made me feel like everything was going to be just dandy.

My schemes, though having gang agley, would surely work out.

I called Ben at Carver and he told me that I could pick up the second half of the UNLV game in twenty minutes.  The others would be ready tomorrow.  That was all I needed to get my book back on track.

Ah, the little joys.

What are your little joys?

It is a very good day.  I’ve been waiting for the DVDs of the last four Iowa games from 1986-87.  It has been a bit stressful because I need them to finish the book.  We are running out of time to be able to get them ordered before the big launch, which I haven’t told you about.

Suffice to say, it is sort of a big deal to me.  So, when I went Monday and Tuesday and they weren’t ready, I was worried that the person who said they would handle it, didn’t appreciate the urgency. It was making my tummy hurt with stress and I was wondering around the house with a frownie face.

Today, I went and picked them up.  I’ve been writing like a man who…hmm…writes a lot.  I’ve written 2,620 words in the last 4 hours.  That is a blistering pace for me.  My best day this year is 3,200, and I feel like I have a lot of energy left for the day.

I would ramble on a bit more, but I’ve got writing to do.